Once Upon a Grain of Sand
by UnqualifiedAras
Summary: "All he thinks of me is that I'm some obsessed girl who fawns over him and I just get in the way. Honestly, I love him and I have for years but he never sees me and I just can't take it anymore." There is only so much you can take before you break and Matsuri has reached it. Can she withstand her feelings before they destroy her? Is there any chance of a happy ending? Somewhat OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand **

_Chapter One _

* * *

There was a light knock on the door and Gaara continued to stare out the window as he beckoned the person to enter. He watched the wind blow the sand back and forth as he heard quiet footsteps shuffle towards his desk. He tilted his head to look at the person. Gaara slightly smiled as he recognized the shoulder length brown hair and the dark eyes. It was his first student.

"Matsuri, it's been a while."

Matsuri bowed her head and tried not to blush. "Yes Lord Gaara. I'm just here to turn in my mission report."

She quickly reached forward her hand with the scroll. Gaara was a little surprised. Normally Matsuri would smile brightly and drag things out a little bit longer. She was definitely acting strange. He hadn't really seen her much. Matsuri had taken to helping more often around the town now that Temari was in Konoha with Shikamaru. He had also been sending her on quite a few missions but she was keeping quite a distance from him. Gaara liked to think that he didn't care, after all, Matsuri had been sort of smothering sometimes with her happy personality and infuriating determination. But he was missing her.

"Ah, I expect everything went well?" He looked up at her and noticed that she smiled a little but not like she used to.

"Yes sir. There were no problems and my team worked well." Gaara nodded as she spoke. "Well anyway, I should be going." Gaara looked up startled at how fast she was leaving. Was there something wrong? Matsuri was always the first one that was accepting of him when the rest of the village was still wary but now she was being so distant and it was making him uncomfortable.

"I see. Well you will be taking a break from missions for a little while. It seems that some of the villagers are wanting your help with the upcoming festival." Matsuri nodded and headed out the door. As she walked out Kankuro walked in and watched Matsuri leave.

"Gaara, it seems that Naruto and his company will arrive tonight in preparation for the negotiations and the festival."

"Thank you Kankuro." Kankuro nodded and turned to leave but was stopped by Gaara's voice. "Does Matsuri seem a little off to you?"

Kankuro turned around and sat in the chair in front of his little brother. "I actually was just thinking that. She seemed more reserved than normal. Do you think that something happened that we don't know about?"

Gaara thought for a few minutes. She was always pretty vocal to him about anything that was wrong with her. He usually didn't have to push too hard. He knew that she hadn't lost any family members and her friends were all still around so it wasn't that. But it was after the war that he noticed that she seemed to be more reserved. Maybe seeing all that bloodshed sobered her somehow?

"I don't think that anything happened. Maybe she just changed after seeing war. But she's never been so distant to me." Kankuro's eyebrows rose and he smiled a little bit.

"Oh, I see. Are you upset by that?" Gaara flashed him a glare and Kankuro laughed.

"I'm just teasing. I know that you love people now and are more in tune to their feelings but I doubt you're ready for romance of any sort."

"This coming from my brother who is single."

"I may be single but I have my fair share of dates and time with women. You however are so busy running a country that I don't think you'll ever go on a date."

Gaara watched Kankuro as he explained. He had a point. Gaara never really considered dating. He didn't have time and on top of that he was sure that no woman would want to be entwined with his complicated life. Sure, he had lost the bloodlust but he still was afraid to tell anyone about his past. What woman would be willing to smile at him after hearing all of that? Lots of women smiled at him in the village now but it took years. Because of that Gaara just seemed to give up on dating.

"You may have a point. Anyway, let me know when Naruto's party arrives." Kankuro nodded and left Gaara to his swirling thoughts.

* * *

Matsuri leaned back against the sandy wall on the back side of the building where the Kazekage's office was. She was taking deep breaths and trying to calm her fast beating heart. Ever since she was around thirteen she had been in love with Subaku no Gaara. When she was twelve and they were asking all the ninja students to pick a ninja instructor she couldn't help but stare at him. He was the one that everyone was afraid of for so long. Gaara was the one that loved blood and had a tailed beast inside of him. But he had changed while he was in Konoha. He had decided that bloodlust and pushing people away wasn't right and he was trying to make better relationships.

Matsuri watched the nervousness and the hopefulness in his expression. He wanted desperately to be accepted. Matsuri was always told that she had a kind heart and she wanted nothing more than to help Gaara learn to love people and open up. Everyone split into groups and she was the only one who chose Gaara. He was intimidating and at first she was nervous about her choice but she saw the small smile he gave her and decided she would give it her all.

After being around him everyday Matsuri learned to love him. He had been hurting and in pain for so long but after meeting Naruto he had a new outlook on life and she kept her optimism and happy attitude in hopes of bolstering him up. He had saved her life from a deadly foe and in turn she was hoping that she was saving him too.

But, he was Gaara and the Kazekage. He barely acknowledged her apart from being a precious student of his and even worse she was sure that Gaara would never think of her any different.

Before the war she was always fangirling over Gaara with a few of the other girls in the Sand. But, she had an advantage. She actually got to spend time with him and talk to him. She knew his siblings well and because of how much he trusts her she was able to work in the Kazekage's office quite a bit.

Matsuri raised her hand to rub down her face and wake her up a little bit. Her last mission wasn't hard but the minute she got back she wrote her report and ran to see Gaara. Matsuri pushed off the wall and slowly made her way to her apartment. Her parents had died a long time ago so she had gotten her own place and as soon as she entered she headed for the shower.

As the water ran down her back she thought back to what changed in her. After being in the war her fangirlish ways seemed so childish. She grew up in the Sand where things were hardly perfect but still she felt like she needed to grow up some. It also didn't help that the whole time she was worried sick that something would happen to Gaara.

When the war ended it was too painful to be around him realizing that she had been in love with him for years and he didn't even notice. So she made an effort to work closely with Temari and soon she was a staple in the community. Lots of the villagers depended on her and when Temari left she picked up a lot of the slack that she could. Matsuri also requested to go on as many missions as possible and Gaara happily complied.

Matsuri finished in the shower and was now staring at the ceiling above her bed. Because of all the work she had seen Gaara less which had helped her from thinking about him but when she did see him it felt like there was a hand clutching her heart.

But it would all be okay. She was still a good friend of his so she just needed to try harder to smile like she used to. It didn't matter if he didn't return her feelings. She loved him and that meant that she wanted to see him happy. Whatever that would take. Maybe she would be able to reconcile all of her feelings this week as she worked on the festival.

* * *

Kankuro opened the door to Gaara's office but before he could say anything Naruto bounded through the door.

"GAARA! How are you buddy?" Naruto grabbed Gaara and pulled him into a bone crushing hug.

"Naruto, I think you might be holding on a little too tight." Gaara could see Hinata standing behind Naruto with Sakura, Kakashi, Sasuke, and Shikamaru. Naruto came with his old team and his wife as well as his adviser. It was a good group. His sister Temari was chatting quietly to Kankuro in the corner.

"Idiot, let go." Naruto huffed and pulled away but he smiled brightly at Gaara.

"It's good to see you Naruto. Thanks for coming." Gaara nodded to everyone else. He figured Naruto brought some of them only for the festival.

"Of course! We need to make sure that things are still smooth between Konoha and Suna. Plus, the festival should be lots of fun!"

"It is always the best festival in Suna. I'm so glad that I was able to come back for it. I hear that Matsuri is in charge this year." Gaara tensed as Temari spoke. "Where is she by the way? I figured she would be around here somewhere?"

"She just finished a mission so I am sure that she is resting right now." Gaara spoke concisely and with little emotion but a few of the people in the room caught the flicker of distress in his eyes.

"I see. I suppose I can wait to see her until tomorrow. I want to help out as much as possible. To be honest that is the only reason I came." Temari laughed a little and so did Hinata and Sakura.

"All right. Well I am sure you are all tired from traveling so Kankuro will show you to where you will all be staying." Gaara motioned to Kankuro and the group followed out behind him except for Temari.

"Okay, what is going on? You seemed distressed when I mentioned Matsuri earlier. Did something happen?" Temari leaned on the desk in front of Gaara.

"Nothing happened that I know of but she has been acting really weird lately. She's been throwing herself into her work way more than normal and she's been distancing herself from me." Gaara laced his fingers together and rested his head on them as he stared straight forward.

Temari watched him. He was really disturbed by this. Sure, he was close to Matsuri but she was sure that Gaara felt like she was just another person. Temari was pretty close to Matsuri and she knew that girl had a crush on Gaara so she couldn't believe that the girl would just stop being around him. Something was definitely going on and she was going to find out what.

"That does sound weird. I'll figure out what is going on. Don't worry." With that Temari smiled and headed out the door to her own room for the night.

* * *

Matsuri held up a file filled with all of the preparations for the festival. She skimmed over everything that had already been taken care of and noticed that the main thing they wanted her help with was setting everything up and getting them put into the right places. Temari had left very detailed descriptions of what happened every year. Matsuri took a deep breath. It wouldn't be too stressful to get this stuff finished and she would actually be able to relax a bit.

Giggling could be heard behind her and she turned to see Naruto walking hand in hand with Hinata. He smiled his mega watt smile and Hinata hid her smile with her hand as they talked and giggled. Next to them was a stoic looking Uchiha, a bored looking Kakashi and Shikamaru, followed by a chatting Temari and Sakura. Matsuri smiled sadly at the sight of Naruto and Hinata and how happy they were. She wished that she could have that but some things were not to be.

Naruto caught sight of her and waved excitedly. "Hey! Matsuri! How's it going? How are the festival plans coming?" He ran up to her dragging Hinata the whole way. Everyone else followed along quietly and soon Sakura and Temari were standing in front of her smiling too.

"Oh, it's good. Temari was really thorough so there's not much for me to do. How are all of you doing?" She smiled sweetly up at them.

"We're fantastic! Say, Matsuri. We were thinking of having a girls day today while all the men are meeting with Gaara. What do you say? Do you wanna hang out with us?" Sakura grabbed onto her arm and happily jumped up and down.

"We can also help with festival stuff." Temari smirked at Matsuri, and Hinata and Sakura both nodded their agreement.

"Well in that case I would love to!" Matsuri smiled and Temari noticed that it was the first genuine Matsuri smile that she'd seen this morning. The men said their goodbyes and headed to Gaara's office. Sakura and Temari interlocked arms with Matsuri and grabbed Hinata as they made their way to the town square.

"So, how have you been?" Temari was hanging up some fabric on a booth while Sakura pinned it in place and Matsuri and Hinata did the same on the booth next to it.

"I've been good. Insanely busy."

"Yeah I heard. Gaara told me." Matsuri tensed for a minute at the mention of Gaara's name. She hoped that no one was really paying attention but the three girls were all watching her. They could see that she still felt something for the Kazekage.

"Ah, I see. Well I've been helping out more since you left and I've been going on a lot of missions." Matsuri turned around and grabbed another piece of fabric to attach.

Hinata looked at Sakura and they both gave Temari a look. Hinata and Sakura were not terribly close to Matsuri but they had gotten used to her being around when they came to Suna or if Gaara was mentioned in a large crowd. But they both knew what it was like to love someone who either doesn't notice you or care.

"Matsuri, can I ask you something?" Hinata was the one who spoke as she pinned the new fabric up that Matsuri was holding.

"Oh course! What's up?"

"Do you still like Gaara?"

Surprised, Matsuri dropped the fabric and looked at Hinata wide eyed. "Um. . ."

"I see. So it's not just like anymore." Sakura now stood next to her rubbing her back.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Temari crossed her arms and leaned against the booth.

"Tell him? Are you insane? All he thinks of me is that I'm some obsessed girl who fawns over him and I just get in the way. Honestly, I love him and I have for years but he never sees me and I just can't take it anymore. That's why I've been working so hard. That's why I go on as many missions as I can." Matsuri had dissolved into tears. She held her face trying to calm down. Hinata wrapped her arms around her. Temari's eyes were open wide. She had always hoped that someone would love her brother as much as her and Kankuro did but she never realized that it could tear someone up inside.

Matsuri wiped her eyes and pulled away from Hinata. "Thanks guys. I think I'm gonna go lie down for a little while. I'll see you later okay?" Matsuri gave half a smile and headed off toward her apartment.

Sakura watched sadly as Matsuri left. "I remember being like that over Sasuke."

"Yeah, and me over Naruto. I can completely understand what she is going through. He never really noticed me much until I told him how much I loved him. It took years for him to see." Hinata stared sadly at where Matsuri had disappeared to.

"I knew she liked him but I never realized how deep it ran. I guess I never really understood beyond her obsession. I guess she's grown up in the last few years." Temari smiled sadly as she looked at Sakura and Hinata. "I think we should head back. The meeting should be over by now."


	2. Chapter 2

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand **

_Chapter Two_

* * *

"Naruto how did you snag Hianta?" Naruto rubbed his neck as he stretched. The meeting between the two councils had just finished and they were just waiting for the girls to get back so they could eat. Man was Naruto hungry.

"Well Gaara, it wasn't easy." Gaara nodded for him to continue. "I always had a crush on Sakura when I was younger and Hinata was a constant presence in my life. She was always there supporting me and uplifting me. Even when the village wanted nothing to do with me because of the nine tails. I honestly had no idea that she loved me until a little while ago. She told me while we were fighting Pein and then again a few years later and I realized that I loved her too. I had grown so accustomed to her cheering me on and I had grown to love her. I have never been happier in my life. Why do you ask?"

Gaara leaned onto his intertwined fingers. "Kankuro made a comment yesterday about the fact that he could never see me dating anyone or open to that type of love. I was just curious how you managed to find someone to love."

"Well, I was always open to it. I mean, you can't tell me that you've never been attracted to anyone. Right? There's got to be a few girls that you think are attractive." Naruto winked and smiled slyly.

"Well, I do think Sakura is quite beautiful as well as your wife." Gaara thought about anyone else that he was attracted to. Matsuri's face flashed into his mind but he tried to push it away. Though he couldn't help but admit that she was beautiful. Her brown hair wasn't dark and mousy like Kankuro's but it was silky and sometimes had a little golden sheen. Her dark eyes and long lashes were captivating and when she smiled Gaara couldn't help but return with a small one. But he couldn't think of her like that. They were colleagues and he had been her teacher once.

"Well duh. They're the most beautiful women in the world! But I can see from your expression that you're thinking of someone. Anyone I know? Is it Matsuri perhaps?" Gaara's cheeks turned slightly pink and his hands slipped a little.

"What? Why would I think of Matsuri like that?"

Naruto laughed. "I was trying to think of girls that I know you spend time with and she was the first to pop up. Is there something up with her recently? She seems to be around a lot less than I remember." Gaara furrowed his almost nonexistent brows.

"She's been really distant lately. She requested that I send her on more missions and with her being my student I knew that her tenacity isn't to be messed with and that she was probably just trying to prove herself so I complied. But she would come home and help out with anything she could and eventually when Temari left she decided to step up and try to take over some of Temari's duties. I don't get to see her much anymore."

"Well I'm sure that you're okay with that. I mean didn't you used to think that she was too loud and boisterous for you?"

"Yeah, I guess I just . . . miss it a little. I don't know." Naruto's smile widened knowingly.

"I see. Well I'm sure she has a good reason. But Kankuro's right. You should go on a date or something."

"I suppose I could try that. There are a few women in the village that are nice and pretty enough. Maybe I'll ask one of them. Would you and Hinata come along?"

"Of course! I'd do anything for my friends!"

Gaara smiled and decided that while he waited for the rest of the party to come back he could ask someone out. There was a woman named Yuki who had blonde hair that ran all the way down her back to her tailbone. She was pretty and always smiled brightly at Gaara. Yuki was an analyst that specialized in weather and Gaara and her had several pleasant conversations.

He stood up and headed to the end of the room where he saw her looking through some files. Gaara felt Kankuro and Naruto's eyes on him but he brushed them off.

"Excuse me, Yuki?"

Yuki looked up at him and smiled. "Yes Lord Kazekage?"

"Would you like to accompany me to dinner this evening? My friend Naruto and his wife will be joining us." If at all possible her smile got even wider.

"Of course! I would love to!"

"Perfect. I will pick you up at seven." Gaara nodded and a small smile made its way across his face as he made his way to the group of guys sitting around the table.

"It's about dang time that you asked someone out!" Kankuro patted him on the back as Naruto smiled like a hyena and hugged him.

"Ah, my little Gaara is growing up!"

"Growing up how?" The men turned to see Temari in the doorway with her hands on her hips. Sakura and Hinata looked curiously over each of her shoulders.

"Gaara just asked Yuki on a date!" Naruto smiled brightly but the girl's faces fell.

"I see. Well congrats baby bro. I'm happy that you're finally taking that step." Temari walked slowly to the table and put her arm around Shikamaru's back as he snaked a hand around her waist. Hinata and Sakura slowly walked into the room and leaned against the wall.

"Where's Matsuri?"Gaara managed to untangle himself from Naruto's hug and looked around at everyone in the room.

"Ah, she was still a little tired from her mission so she went home to lie down. She said she'll be back later. I'll probably check on her and make sure she's okay." Sakura smiled at Gaara and out of the corner of her eye saw Temari nodding at her.

"See that you do." Gaara nodded to her. "Shall we eat?"

"YES! Let's find some ramen!" Everyone rolled their eyes and Hinata giggled as Naruto bounded out the door.

* * *

Matsuri sat on the couch as Sakura ran a brush through her hair and Temari rifled through her closet. "Why did you two set me up with Kai again?"

Kai was an Anbu captain with black hair and the most beautiful blue eyes. He was only a few years older than Matsuri and had jumped at the chance to take her out. Apparently she had quite a few admirers that she was not aware of. With working at the Kazekage's office so much and taking so many missions she had certainly met her share of people. Kai told Temari that he thought that Matsuri's smile was infectious and he wanted to ask her out but he always thought she was dating someone.

"We set you up because Gaara is going on a date and since he's blind we are having you go out with someone else." Sakura answered as she put a bobby pin into Matsuri's hair.

"And this will accomplish what exactly?"

"Well, it will either make Gaara insanely jealous or you'll start to like someone else. Either way you win." Temari emerged with a light purple dress in her hand and forced Matsuri into it. She looked great and couldn't help but smile at the result.

There was a knock on the door and Matsuri rushed to open it. "Good evening." Kai held out a rose and smiled at Matsuri who blushed a little. "You look amazing." Matsuri full on blushed.

"Thank you."

"Shall we go?" He held out his arm for her to take and she waved quickly to Temari and Sakura who were still in her apartment. They both collapsed on the couch and took a deep breath.

"I really hope this works out for her." Sakura stated and Temari nodded.

* * *

Gaara smiled the best he could at Yuki as she spoke about her work. Naruto and Hinata commented a little bit to everything that she was saying. He was enjoying himself but he still felt a little off. He couldn't help remembering that Matsuri wasn't well that afternoon. He hoped she was all right and not sick. He had made sure that Sakura and Temari went to see her. If anyone could help her it was Sakura.

"Gaara?"

"Hm?"

"I asked if your food was good." Yuki smiled up at him and he blinked. He had totally zoned out.

"Oh! Yes, it's delicious."

Yuki reached out and placed her hand on his forehead. "Are you feeling all right?"

"I'm just fine. Thanks for asking." He smiled at her and soon Naruto was picking the conversation back up once again. Naruto told a joke and there was laughter all around the table. Gaara could swear that he heard the melodious laughter of Matsuri and he shook his head. He was losing it. The laughter got louder and Gaara realized that she was in fact behind him and laughing. He quickly turned around in his seat.

Matsuri stood in line for a dessert stand next to the restaurant they were at. She was wearing a tight fitting light purple dress and Gaara couldn't help but look at her from her toes all the way to the top of her head. She looked absolutely gorgeous. It also helped that she was smiling bigger than he had seen her smile in a while. He was completely taken by her.

Gaara looked to see who she was holding onto and realized that it was Kai. The most attractive Anbu captain that they had. Not to mention one of the men that every girl wanted to date. He smiled down at her and Gaara's fist tightened. Without him realizing the sand around his feet rose. How dare that guy go out with Matsuri. Who did he think he was? Matsuri deserved better. Though, admittedly, she couldn't do much better than an Anbu captain unless she was dating the Kazekage.

Gaara froze.

Did he just think that?

A hand landed on his shoulder and he turned to see Naruto giving him a concerned look. "Dude, you okay? I see the sand moving." Gaara turned to face the group again and relaxed so the sand fell.

"I'm good, sorry." Naruto nodded but looked over at Matsuri and then to Hinata. She smiled at him and they both continued to eat knowing what Gaara was hiding.

* * *

The next morning Matsuri bounced into the Kazekage's office where she was meeting everyone for the day with her old vigor. Gaara's eyebrows rose up as he watched her bounce away, smiling at everyone, and hugging anyone she could. Gaara wanted to smile since she was back to normal but he knew it was because of Kai she was happy and the pen in his hand snapped in half. Naruto and Hinata noticed and pretended it was normal.

"Good morning everyone!"

"Good morning Matsuri. Did your date go well?"

"So well, I've never been so carefree before. It was a lot of fun." She smiled up at Temari who had a smirk on her face as she eyed the angry expression of her younger brother. Looks like jealousy was the outcome. Interesting.

"Anyway, I need to head down to the festival to set up some booths are you helping me today?" Matsuri bounced on the balls of her feet and Temari nodded as she chuckled at the girl. Hinata and Sakura were also smiling. The boys all looked confused and Gaara looked pissed.

"We will be taking a tour of the town today if you want to join at some point. We'll meet again later tonight at the festival." Everyone nodded at Gaara and the girls ran out the door to finish their work.


	3. Chapter 3

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand**

_Chapter Three_

* * *

Matsuri walked around the festival with Temari, Shikamaru, Kankuro, Gaara, Kai, Yuki, Naruto and Hinata. Sasuke and Sakura were off somewhere and she smiled knowing that in the last few months they had started dating. She was holding onto Kai's arm. He was a great guy and he made her feel really happy but he wasn't Gaara. She really wished that she was on his arm like she had dreamed a thousand times. But he was with Yuki and he was not ever going to return her feelings so she chatted happily to Kai and the others as they walked through the festival.

There were many booths and food stalls and it seemed even more popular this year than in the past. There were guards positioned everywhere around. Matsuri couldn't help feeling happy that everything was running so smoothly and that she was soon going to be done with planning and could get back to her other work as well as going on missions.

A shrill scream sounded down the street followed by quite a few others and the sounds of people running in their direction. Kai instantly dashed to the scene. The rest of the group flanked around Gaara. He was the Kazekage after all. Temari whipped out her fan and was in the ready position.

Kai reappeared and knelt in front of Gaara. "What's happening?" Naruto stood next to Gaara with a kunai out.

"There were some rogue ninja that infiltrated as normal citizens. It's quite a large group. They're wrecking havoc. You need to get out of here as soon as possible Lord Kazekage."

"I will leave as soon as I can. Right now there are too many civilians around. I will help if I can first." Kai nodded and disappeared into the crowd again. A rouge ninja came into view and before anyone around Gaara could react Matsuri had already gotten him with her ninja weapon. Gaara smiled. She had improved incredibly and he was so proud of her.

Several more ninja charged forward and Matsuri, Temari, and Shikamaru dove into battle while the rest were on guard as a few more tried to run at them but the three in front kept stopping them. Matsuri's fight was taking her farther and farther from Gaara but he could still see her. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Watch it! It's got a tag!" A voice to the left of Gaara cried as a kunai with an exploding tag headed straight for the wall next to him.

Instantly the sand rose around his feet and enclosed everyone in the sand. As it closed to fully contain them from the blast Gaara saw Matsuri's eyes stare at him from where she was standing right next to the tag. Through the sand Gaara could hear the muffled sounds of the explosion followed by cries and pieces of the wall hitting the ground. After everything seemed to settle Gaara let down the wall.

His eyes instantly scanned for Matsuri and saw a flash of pink kneeling on the ground next to a pissed off Uchiha with his kusanagi out. Gaara ran as fast as he could to them. Matsuri had her eyes closed and there was a giant wound in her stomach that was bleeding.

"She dodged the blast but the building practically impaled her." Sakura spoke professionally as her hands glowed green over Matsuri. "She should be fine but I need to get her to the hospital now." Gaara nodded and soon there was a bed of sand underneath both Sakura and Matsuri as well as himself as he sped to the hospital.

Gaara couldn't look down at Matsuri and Sakura. He knew that if he did he would loose it. He couldn't protect her from that blast. She was farther away than he thought and he missed her. It was all his fault that she was in this situation. Soon they were at the hospital and Sakura as well as several other doctors worked on Matsuri as quickly as they could. Gaara sat anxiously outside the room waiting for some sort of news. After an hour the door creaked open and Gaara's head shot up.

"She's okay. She's still unconscious. I'm not sure how long it'll be until she wakes up. She lost a lot of blood and took quite a hit. We moved her to a recovery room. You can see her now if you'd like." Sakura seemed tired but her relieved smile told him that Matsuri really was going to be okay. He followed her to a small room with tan walls. Matsuri was sleeping on a bed. She looked so peaceful but Gaara could see some bandages on her face from the rocks and the outline of the bandage on her stomach.

"I'll leave you alone. Visiting hours don't apply to you since you're the Kazekage so feel free to stay as long as you like."

"Thank you Sakura." Sakura nodded and shut the door behind her as she left. Gaara stared down at Matsuri. He had been so frightened. He was so sure that she was going to get hit by that blast and he would never see her again. He had never realized how much pain that would cause him and just how much she meant to him.

Gaara slowly made his way next to her bed and pulled a chair as close as he could. Tentatively he reached out his hand and gently grasped hers. Her hand was so small compared to his but he didn't mind. She was perfect. He couldn't bear the thought of losing her. She was one of the only people in the village who looked at him in admiration when he still had Shukaku. Matsuri was precious to him and he was going to protect her from now on.

* * *

Matsuri could feel the heavy weight of her eyelids as she tried to open them. She let out a small groan with the effort but eventually she could get them to open a little. She was in a tan colored room and there were beeping machines next her. Her chest was tight with the bandages that she could feel and there was a gentle pressure around her left hand. She looked down to her hand and was startled to see there was another hand holding hers tenderly. Matsuri closed her eyes for half a second and prayed that it was not Kai. He was nice but how could she get him to leave her alone. She had just been injured and all she really wanted was some time to herself.

She opened her eyes and slowly trailed up the hand holding hers to the arm and finally the face of the Kazekage who watched her intently. "You're awake."

Matsuri nodded the best she could. What was Gaara doing here? And more importantly why was he holding her hand? Not that she really minded but still it was surprising.

"How do you feel?"

Matsuri swallowed a few times before she answered. "A little sore. That was a nasty explosion." She tried to laugh. Gaara's grip on her hand tightened.

"I should have realized my barrier wasn't wide enough." Matsuri lifted her free hand and gently placed it on his cheek. He looked up at her a little startled.

"It's really okay. I'm a shinobi. I can take care of myself." She smiled and he slightly returned it.

"I thought I lost you in that blast and it was the worst I've felt in a really long time." Matsuri's eyes widened. What exactly was he saying? "Matsuri, I want to protect you as long as I can. I. . . I love you." Matsuri's eyes filled with tears as she heard him confess his feelings to her. She had dreamed lots of times for this and hearing it finally made her heart soar. Gaara was alarmed by her tears and stood up to lean over her. "Are you okay? Are you hurt?"

Matsuri laughed and wiped away her tears. "I'm fine. I'm just so happy hearing you say that. I've loved you since I was thirteen." Gaara smiled down at her and squeezed her hand.

"She's awake!" Sakura bounded into the room with Temari behind her. Both of them were sporting giant smiles as Sakura moved forward to examine her.

* * *

**A/N:**

_Cheesy and Short, I know._


	4. Chapter 4

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand **

_Chapter Four_

* * *

Matsuri bounded down the steps of her apartment. It had been several months since Gaara had confessed that he loved her in the hospital. Since then they had been on a few awkward dates and had been slowly shifting the nature of their relationship. Everything was perfect. Some people might get frustrated with the slow timeline of everything but Matsuri understood that Gaara needed a little more time to understand these new emotions.

She looked down at the mail that had been left outside her apartment as she walked towards Gaara's office. He had summoned her and she figured that he was ready to send her back out on missions now that she was completely healed. Matsuri giggled at the thank you note she received from Temari. Temari and Shikamaru had gotten married and apparently so had Sasuke and Sakura but the latter two had left the village almost immediately.

It wasn't long before she entered the main building. She shoved the mail in her hand into her kunai pouch and smiled brightly as she walked into the Kazekage's office.

* * *

Matsuri stared at the floor in front of her. Was this really happening? Was he really telling her this? This was worse than getting her heart stomped on. She tore her eyes away from the sandy floor of the Kazekage's office and looked into cool blue. Gaara's face was pained more than she could ever remember. Even seeing him battle internally with Shukaku.

"What?"

Gaara kept her gaze but she watched as a tear traced down his pale cheek. "I don't think it would be wise for us to date."

"You don't think it would be wise for us. . . to. . . date? Why? You love me don't you? Or was all that in the hospital just a lie? I don't understand what is happening."

Matsuri's hands fisted at her sides and she tried her best to keep her emotions in check but her voice was steadily raising and she could feel tears burning in her eyes.

"Matsuri," she flinched "I do love you but I can't stand the thought of you being in danger and being with the Kazekage would just open a whole slew of problems. I don't want you to have to deal with that." Matsuri opened her mouth to respond but he held up a hand to silence her before speaking again. "I know you are incredibly strong and that you could handle it but it would be too much for me. At least right now. I'm sorry."

Tears streamed down Gaara's face and Matsuri couldn't hold hers back anymore. She knew now what was going on. He loved her so much he was afraid that being with him would complicate her life and he didn't want to do that to her. Matsuri wiped her cheeks and took a deep breath looking at the floor again. She looked up at Gaara and gave him a sad smile but a smile she knew he loved nonetheless.

"I understand Lord Gaara. Thank you for everything."

Gaara's eyes widened at her now professional attitude and acceptance. He nodded at her and she swiftly turned on her heel and headed out the door. She had barely made it into the hallway when the tears returned in full force and her chest tightened. Matsuri sprinted through the hallways and didn't stop until she was locked in her small apartment. Matsuri landed in a heap in front of her couch and held her arms tightly around herself as she let out all her emotions.

* * *

The door to the Kazekage's office slowly opened and a familiar chakra signature entered. Gaara didn't turn around from his position looking out the window into the tumultuous sand storm outside. The tears had stopped falling a few minutes ago but his heart was still squirming uncomfortably. He knew he made the right choice but it was so hard. He had just accepted that he loved her and here he was tossing her away.

"Are you okay?" Gaara didn't turn but he knew his sister was observant enough to know that he was not. "I heard everything. Why did you do that?" There was a definite anger in her voice. Gaara spun around and Temari gasped as she saw his puffy eyes and the tear streaks down his porcelain skin.

"Temari what are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be in Konoha with your husband?"

"I came to visit since I won't be able to travel in a few months I wanted to see everyone." Gaara nodded. That was an acceptable answer.

"Do you make it a habit to eavesdrop on conversations the Kazekage is having?" Gaara laced his fingers together in front of his face.

"You know I don't. Kankuro told me you were having a meeting with Matsuri and since I was coming to say hello I waited outside the door. I figured it was something to do with your relationship so it wasn't classified. But what I got was a break up before you even got started! What the heck Gaara? Why did you do that? You deserve love. You should know this by now. You are no longer the monster that you once were."

"I know. It's just that there are some complications."

Temari plopped herself on a chair in front of Gaara's desk. "Complications? Like what exactly?"

"Well for one, there are still people in the world that don't quite trust me. I wouldn't want someone that I care about that much get involved in any hate." Gaara leaned back in his chair and turned to partially look out at the window. Temari watched him closely as he watched the swirling sand.

"What else is there Gaara? You seem really unsettled."

He didn't look at her as he kept speaking. "The council has decided that I need to get married and they picked someone from a good family in the village. I agreed." He looked at Temari.

Her mouth dropped and she stood up from her chair. It immediately hit the ground. "Why in the heck would you accept that?"

"I don't know her and she has no hate towards me. Her family is well off so no one would want to send her hate threats. It is a good move as a Kage."

"And Matsuri is what? Trash because she's an orphan because her parents died while doing their civic duty to the village? That's crap. I get that you are protecting her and that you love her but marrying someone else because of station? How backwards is that?"

Gaara stood up. Fire was in his eyes as he slammed his hands on the desk. "You don't understand anything. You may be my sister but you are now a member of Konoha. As far as I'm concerned political moves in Suna don't effect you anymore."

Temari scowled and stood back up. "It does when it effects someone I care about. And this time there are two of them." Temari stormed to the door and threw it open. "I'm not staying with you and Kankuro tonight. I'm staying with Matsuri and then sometime tomorrow I'll head back to my village since it seems I am not wanted here anymore." Temari slammed the door and Gaara stared at it for a good few minutes before falling into his chair in a heap and turning back to watch the sand. What had he done?

* * *

Matsuri cried for what felt like hours. Really it was only an hour but she eventually ran out of tears and pulled herself to the bathroom to blow her nose and wash her face. She hadn't cried that hard since her parents died. It felt much the same. Having someone you love fall through your grasp through no fault of your own. She shook her head from such thoughts and made her way to the kitchen.

It was dark but not too late and she wasn't hungry but she knew that she needed to eat. She was a shinobi after all and she needed to keep her strength up. She planned on taking all the missions she could to get out of the village. Seeing Gaara from now on was going to be difficult.

A knock sounded on her door and she left her food sitting on the stove to boil. Quickly she opened the door and was surprised to see Yukata. "Yukata? What are you doing here?"

"I have terrible news! But also super exciting!" She pushed a piece of paper into Matsuri's face. It was Suna's newspaper.

"We still have one of these? I thought we stopped printing this."

"Nah, we're old fashioned. Apparently there were some people in the village that were really against it going away so it's managed to stay."

Matsuri furrowed her eyebrows at her friend. "Okay. . . I would ask why you know so much about the paper but I really don't care. Do you want to come in?"

Yukata pushed past her and sat on the couch. "Only for a few minutes since the sand is going crazy and I really need to head home soon. I just thought that you would want to know this too."

Matsuri joined her on the couch and pulled her feet under her. "All right, I'm all ears. What is this terrible and exciting news?"

"Lord Gaara is going to get married to Hakuto of the Hoki family! Can you believe that?"

Matsuri's face dropped. She tried her best to take in what Yukata was saying. Gaara was engaged to someone? Was that the real reason he was pushing her away? He wasn't really protecting her at all he was just trying to get rid of her so he could marry someone else.

"Your face is exactly what mine looked like when I first read the article. Apparently it's been in the works for quite some time. I'm so jealous! She's absolutely gorgeous so it's no wonder that Lord Gaara fell in love with her."

"What does she look like?" Yukata pushed the article towards Matsuri again. This time she took it and looked down at the picture.

It was colored so she could see that Hakuto had dark hair that was so black it just seemed like ink. Her skin was impossibly fair and in her blue kimono she looked stunning. Tears started to form in Matsuri's eyes again. There was no way that she could compare to her. She had mousy brown hair and brown eyes and was very plain. No wonder Gaara gave her the slip.

She blinked a few times to get the tears away from falling and tossed the paper back to Yukata. "Well I guess we'll have to try to find other fish in the sea. We didn't stand a chance if that is the type of girl that he wanted." Matsuri laughed and Yukata joined in.

"Ain't that the truth. Anyway, I gotta go. I'll see you around!" Yukata waved as she ran out the door.

Matsuri got up to make sure the door was shut and headed to the kitchen to finish eating. Her food tasted flavorless in her mouth but she didn't notice. It seemed like everything she was doing was in a fog. Gaara didn't love her. He was going to marry someone else and soon. Maybe that was just her lot in life. She saw her parents murdered and now the only man that she actually loved was going to marry someone else.

Matsuri made her way to her bedroom to change into comfy pajamas and then headed to the couch. She put on some music in the background and looked over some scrolls that she had been meaning to study about other nations that she might have to do missions in. She didn't know much about the world yet and she wanted to learn as much as she could before being thrust into unknown territory.

Another knock sounded on her door and she threw her head back and groaned. Why was she so popular tonight when all she really wanted was to be alone? Grudgingly she got off the couch and made her way to the door. She flung it open and hoped to scowl at the person behind it. To her surprise it was Temari smiling sheepishly at her.

"Hey kid. Can I stay here tonight? My brothers are complete idiots and I need somewhere to stay that's idiot free."

Matsuri moved so that Temari could come inside and then shut the door. "Yeah, your brothers are some kind of special aren't they? You know don't you?"

Temari fell on the couch and dropped her bag next to her. Matsuri reclaimed the spot she was sitting before and turned down the music a fraction so she could hear Temari better. Temari turned to look at her and grabbed her hand gently. Matsuri was taken aback for a few seconds at the sweet gesture from the other girl.

"Yeah, I know. I overheard you two talking. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's not like I can do anything about it. He told me he doesn't want me to date and he's marrying the head of the Hoki family so at this point I really just want him to be happy. If that is what makes him happy than so be it."

"You know about Hakuto? How?"

"It's already in the paper."

"I see. Well I'm glad that you are okay. My brother is such an idiot but I'll make sure that he's okay if you want."

"I would like that. Make sure that he is happy and that everything works out with Hakuto."

Temari nodded and let go of Matsuri's hand. "Enough of that crap. Let's have girl talk, eat a crap ton of ice cream, and turn up the music!"

Matsuri laughed as she turned up the music and Temari ran to get the ice cream and spoons. She was grateful that Temari had decided to stop by to check up on her. She meant everything that she had said. She really wanted Gaara to be happy and she was sure that this marriage was what he wanted. She would just have to get over it. But for now it would hurt.


	5. Chapter 5

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand**

_Chapter Five_

* * *

The wind and sand swirled around tumultuously mirroring Matsuri's inner thoughts and emotions. She clutched her hand in a fist and made her way down the hallway to the Kagekage's office. It had been several days and she had been able to avoid Gaara but it was time for a new mission. She was heading out with Yukata and Mikoshi. They weren't the best team but they did okay during the chunnin exams.

Matsuri opened the door and walked inside. Thankfully she was last so she didn't have to deal with any awkward small talk with Gaara. Yukata was chatting excitedly and Matsuri assumed it was about his recent engagement. Mikoshi nodded at her and Gaara made her gaze.

"Ah, now that Matsuri is here let's get started."

Gaara went through his briefing trying his best to catch Matsuri's eye but she kept her gaze expertly trained on a spot just beyond his head. Eventually he had said all he needed to say and Matsuri turned on her heel to leave as quickly as possible.

Once in the hallway she took a deep breath and made sure that there were no tears forming in her eyes. She was a war hardened shinobi. There was no place for heartbroken tears. She would just have to learn how to live with all the pain. He didn't love her nearly enough if he even loved her at all.

Every mission assignment was the same. Matsuri would appear on time and wouldn't meet Gaara's gaze. She tried to keep her face stoic as much as possible with a few small smiles here and there. No one noticed really. Well, if they did they didn't say anything. When Gaara would finish Matsuri would immediately vacate the room. She didn't want to be near him at all. It just hurt way too much to see him sitting there and to know that he was going to be married to another woman.

After several months it got easier to ignore him when she went to get a mission. Unless it was a solo mission of some sort. But thankfully those were few so she didn't have to actually make eye contact with him. Once she looked into the pale depths she felt herself losing all will once again.

Matsuri had taken to being on a mission almost everyday that she possibly could. Gaara tried to convince her that she was working too hard but she would dismiss his concerns and insist that she was just growing stronger. Which she honestly was. She was growing mentally and emotionally stronger. Soon, she would be able to interact with Gaara without freaking out but for now she was content to ignore him the best she could and work hard.

* * *

Gaara watched as Hakuto and Shikamaru disappeared into the trees surrounding Konoha. Of course it would all turn out this way. He turned away the woman he loved to get married to someone the council picked only to have her in love with someone else and wanting to elope. She was now a Nara just like his sister and he was going to have to hide that fact someway.

Gaara sat watching the trees slowly blowing in the wind. There was no way he was going to be able to face Matsuri now. Even though she was the only person he wanted to see. He finally turned around and made his way back to the Sand village. His bodyguards caught up with him and flanked either side.

How had everything gotten so messed up? A few months ago he had finally opened himself up to the possibility of falling in love with someone and he did. Unbeknownst to him he had fallen in love with Matsuri and just as he finally realized his feelings and confessed to her the council decided to step in. They needed him married to someone that would be beneficial to the village. Gaara agreed since he still needed help getting the support of some of his villagers.

But Hakuto was in love with someone already and decided instead of pushing them to the side like Gaara had that she would run off with him. Gaara shook his head and stopped running for a minute.

"Lord Kazekage are you all right?"

"I'm fine. I just need a minute."

The body guards nodded and stepped back a few paces to give Gaara some room to breath. He placed his right hand on his face. Why hadn't he thought to defy the council and do what he wanted? Now he was stuck being away from his love and his fiance was happily married to hers.

Gaara growled lowly and punched the tree behind him. He had been stupid. Pure and simple. And now he was paying for it.

* * *

Matsuri sat in a conference room down the hall from the Kazekage's office and was organizing some files. She had been nothing but busy. It was her goal to fill up her time so that she couldn't really think about Gaara and how her heart was broken.

It had been several months and their conversations were only limited to mission assignments. It was hard for Matsuri but it was also good that it was so limited. Talking to him to much might remind her why she was so fixated on him for so long.

The door slowly creeped open but Matsuri ignored it. She didn't feel a threatening chakra signature so she figured that it was someone either bringing her more files or there to ask some sort of question. The chair next to hers pulled out and someone sat down and took a stack of files from in front of her.

Matsuri dared to not even breath. Gaara sat right next to her and wasn't saying anything. He was just reading over some of the files that she was organizing. There was some information he needed and hadn't realized it when they were given to Matsuri. She kept working quietly and just ignored him. It wasn't too hard. Gaara was always so silent. That was one of his flaws.

She scribbled a few things down and moved more files into their respective places. Gaara stopped reading for a few moments to watch her work. It was hard for him to be this far from her. He had noticed that she was keeping her distance, which was understandable, but it was killing him inside. He couldn't talk with her like he used to be able to and he couldn't see her all that often.

He wasn't even engaged anymore but most people in the village didn't know that yet and he had already messed up everything with her a long time ago. Gaara set his files down and cleared his throat. Matsuri tilted her head slightly to tell him to continue if he was going to say something.

"You've been really busy lately. You've gone on lots of missions." Matsuri nodded her head. "How are they going?"

"Pretty standard as missions go." Matsuri kept her gaze on the files in her hands and moved them around to read the information she was looking for. Gaara stared at her uninterested appearance and frowned.

"How are you handling them?"

"Like you taught me."

Gaara was really getting frustrated now. He knew why she was distancing herself from him but did she have to be so short with him? Why couldn't she at least give him a little of something? He still cared about her and he had told her that he cared about her but she didn't seem to believe him.

"That's good. I'm trying to ask how _you're_ doing Matsuri."

Matsuri put the files in her hand down and turned her head to finally look at him. Her eyes were confused but there was no other emotion on her face. "Why?"

"What do you mean why?" Gaara furrowed his eyebrows and turned his body more towards her direction.

"I mean why do you care how I'm doing?"

"Because I do care about you and I want to know that you are okay." Matsuri stared at him and he stared back unflinchingly. Time seemed to tick on forever as they stared.

"I think you lost that right the minute you gave me up for someone else." Matsuri stood up and ran out the door. Gaara stared at the desk in front of him strewn with files and tried to process what had just happened.

* * *

Matsuri clenched her eyes shut as the gash on her forearm leaked blood and the kunai stuck in her thigh seemed to grow impossibly tighter as the enemy nin in front of her smirked.

"Hm, you're a weird one. It almost seems like you have no regard for your life. I suppose that's a good trait to have as a shinobi."

His smile grew sickeningly wide and he lunged at Matsuri. She moved almost too slowly. There was definitely some sort of poison on his kunais. Great. Just what she needed. The man lunged again. This time he managed to swipe her across her back. Matsuri screamed from the pain. The poison was getting more potent the more he swiped.

Someone grabbed Matsuri roughly and pulled her out of harm's way. She blinked her eyes that were growing heavier and heavier by the second to see the frustrated face of Yukata.

"Matsuri, what the heck are you doing? You're being so reckless. You're a great shinobi. Don't just stand there like a freaking target."

Matsuri opened her mouth to apologize but her tongue was too thick to move. Yukata held her as sleep overtook her.

* * *

The beeping of her heart monitor was the first sound Matsuri heard as she woke up. Yukata was sitting next to her as well as Mikoshi. They both had worried looks on their faces. Matsuri slowly turned her head to look at her surroundings. She was in the hospital in the sand village but Sakura was standing next to her bedside checking her vitals.

"Sakura, what are you doing here?"

"Ah! Matsuri! Good to see you awake. How do you feel?"

Matsuri frowned at Sakura's avoidance of her question but moved to a sitting position as Sakura handed her a glass of water.

"I'm feeling okay. I was poisoned right?"

Sakura nodded. "That's right. The shinobi you were fighting was a poison specialist but lucky for you I've been studying poisons and antidotes for a while now."

Sakura smiled brightly and Matsuri finally realized that she was dressed like she had been traveling and was very pregnant. Sasuke sat behind Sakura and he nodded at Matsuri.

"I suppose that is lucky. Though I still don't know why you're even here. Or working so hard when it looks like you are due any day now."

Sakura's eyes lit up and Matsuri couldn't help but laugh at the excitement that overtook her as she talked all about her new baby that would be coming soon. Matsuri tamped down any jealousy she had that Sakura had finally won over Sasuke and the two of them were starting their family.

"Well, now that you are awake I'm gonna go talk to the medical staff about when they need to give you more of the antidote."

Sakura left the room with Sasuke hot on her heels. Matsuri turned her attention to her abnormally quiet teammates. Yukata's brows were furrowed and Mikoshi had a stern expression on his face.

"What happened?"

Yukata spoke but she folded her arms across her chest. "You were being a reckless idiot. You weren't even fighting back and because of that he was able to hit you too many times with that poison. Were you trying to get yourself killed out there?"

Matsuri looked down at the blanket covering her body. Why had she just stood there? It wasn't like Gaara had just told her he didn't want to be with her. That was months ago and even after her parents died she hadn't tried to get herself killed. Maybe she had just decided that it was easier this way for her team? No, that didn't make any sense either.

"I don't know, honestly. I guess I was just tired and thought maybe he'd take me down and then wouldn't focus on you guys?"

Mikoshi shook his head. "Matsuri, he was an easy enemy. I took him out in mere minutes after we got to you."

Matsuri's eyes widened. "Really?" Matsuri scratched the back of her head. "I guess I've just been working too hard."

She relaxed back into her pillows. There was silence in the room as Matsuri tried to collect her thoughts. She really had been reckless. But it was like her body wouldn't move even before the poison kicked in and she honestly hadn't minded. There was just so much weighing on her since she was little girl. At some point she hoped that things would go her way.

"Why is Sakura here?" Matsuri turned to look at Yukata.

"Lord Kazekage sent for her. She's been out traveling with Sasuke but she came as soon as he sent."

"What?"

"When we brought you back we brought you back straight to the hospital and before we even knew where all your injuries were Lord Kazekage had already sent for Sakura's aid."

Matsuri took in all her words. Gaara had sent for the best medic in the entire of the five nations to come and look after her. What did that even mean?

"He cares for you an awful lot." Mikoshi whispered as Matsuri's thoughts began to go haywire. There was no way that he still cared for her the way he had a few months. This must just be because she was his student and precious to him. Matsuri sank deeper into her pillows.

"Also, while we were gone Gaara announced to the village that his engagement with Hakuto is over. Apparently she is married to someone else now."

"I see. Thanks for the update." Matsuri winched as she returned to laying down in the bed. Her head suddenly felt very heavy and she felt like she couldn't handle anything that was going on. Now she knew for sure that Gaara actually didn't care about her. Why hadn't he told her he wasn't getting married? It didn't matter. They now had a big wedge driven between them and it would stay that way.

"Thanks for being at my bedside guys. I'm a little tired so I think I'll take a nap."

Yukata and Mikoshi stood up to leave. "No worries, we still need to give our mission report. We'll check on you later."

They turned off the lights as they left the room and Matsuri moved to her side that wasn't injured and stared out at the sandy house outside her window glowing gold in the sunlight. She didn't want to think about everything she had just learned so she shut her eyes and willed her mind to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**Once Upon a Grain of Sand**

_Chapter Six_

* * *

Years passed and soon it had been something like twelve years since Gaara had watched his fiancee become a citizen of Konoha with the man she loved. Everyday since then he had kept an eye on Matsuri when it was possible. She took a lot of missions and always addressed him formally when she saw him. He could see that the cold professionalism she had taken up after the war had returned ten fold and he knew it was all his fault.

Matsuri had never married. It probably stemmed from the fact that she was always on missions or helping out around the village. Her kind soul got her several dates with nice young men but she never took it farther than a few months. She had even dated Kai the Anbu captain for almost a year but they broke up and he ended up marrying her friend Yukata.

Gaara couldn't deny that the fact she had never married had made him incredibly happy. Her smiles had slowly started coming back over the years. Every time he saw one his insides simultaneously burned with sadness that he could have seen that everyday and joy that she was turning back into the happy Matsuri that he fell in love with.

Shinki was a blessing to Gaara since he had someone in his life that loved him unconditionally and never saw the horror that he was capable of. Though, if he was being completely honest one of the reasons that he was so adamant to adopt Shinki was that he looked so much like what Gaara imagined his children with Matsuri would look like. Shinki's brown hair was just like hers and his dark green eyes were a perfect combination of Gaara's own light eyes and Matsuri's dark.

But, sometimes this comparison was too much for Gaara. He loved Shinki with all his heart but thinking about Matsuri made his heart clench painfully as he remembered how he had broken both their hearts stupidly. It was because of this that Kankuro watched Shinki quite a bit and his son had even taken to copying some of Kankuro's preferences like painting his face. Gaara laughed as he watched him practice a few of his wind techniques from his office.

Matsuri suddenly appeared next to Shinki and smiled brightly. Gaara flew closer to the window and used his sand to create an eye to see and hear what was going on beneath him.

"Morning Shinki. Working hard?"

"Matsuri!" Shinki ran over and gave Matsuri a huge hug. Gaara's eye was transfixed on the scene and he couldn't help thinking that this seemed too right. It was almost like he was watching his family share a tender embrace and his heart tightened.

"Practicing your jutsu?"

"Yep! The chunnin exams are coming up in Konoha and I really want to make it!" Matsuri ruffled his hair.

"I'm sure you will. You've been trained by Kankuro and Gaara. They are probably the most amazing shinobi in the history of this village. They were jounin at such a young age."

Shinki smiled. "Yeah! Dad is the best but you're a great shinobi too! He tells me all the time about how he trained you and how good you got."

Matsuri gave him a small smile. "He does, does he?" Gaara smiled to himself but he deflated at seeing the quick moment of pain cross her features. "So, you've decided to paint yourself like your uncle huh?"

"Yep! Uncle Kankuro looks so cool and scary! I want to intimidate other shinobi too. Especially Boruto!"

Matsuri laughed out loud and took a seat on the ground near where there was a small pouch of ninja tools. "Well I'm sure you will. So, do you want to show me what you're working on?"

"Okay!"

Gaara watched as Shinki did jutsu after jutsu and Matsuri gave him a few pointers here and there. Then the two of them did some taijutsu sparing and Gaara couldn't tear his gaze away. It was normal for him to look closer at Shinki's training using his eye when he had to be in the office so he was sure that neither would really think it was suspicious what he was doing. Eventually the two stopped and Shinki said that he had to head home and get packed to head out tomorrow for the exam. Matsuri waved at him and then turned to the window Gaara was watching from and waved at him before heading home as well.

Gaara's sand dissipated and he turned around in his chair to look at what he had been neglecting while he watched his son and the woman he loved training. After about an hour of paperwork a knock sounded and Kankuro entered.

"Gaara, Shinki headed to bed but he wanted me to tell you that he wants to see you before he heads off to Konoha."

"Thank you."

"How's the paperwork tonight?" Kankuro walked up and took a seat near Gaara but pulled out a small puppet that he was carving for some of the kids in the hospital.

"It's about the same as always." Kankuro nodded but kept his focus on the puppet. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything little bro."

"Is Shinki close to Matsuri? Like, have they been training and things long?" Kankuro stopped his carving and looked at Gaara with his mouth slightly open.

"How?"

"I saw them train this afternoon and I was excited and confused all at the same time."

Kanakuro nodded in understanding. "Yeah, a couple years ago when Shinki was around six you were busy and I was called to do some business but he needed someone to take care of him. I asked Matsuri to do it since she was the only person who was around that I actually trusted with your child. She took care of him for like three days while we were in and out of meetings. When I came back he was practically glued to her. He loved her. In fact he's accidentally called her mom multiple times."

Gaara dropped the papers in his hands and stared at Kankuro with wide eyes. Kankuro laughed and continued whittling as he spoke.

"So, I asked her if she didn't mind taking care of him sometimes when we were too busy. She agreed saying that she loved Shinki. She also agreed to watch him train sometimes since she's one of the people who understands your teaching style and techniques better than anyone else. He's gotten a lot stronger and I know she's partially to blame."

Gaara took in all the information. Matsuri had been building a bond with his son and he had no idea. Not only that but Shinki had tried telling him before about a woman helping him train but Gaara thought Shinki was just talking nonsense.

"So, when Shinki kept asking me where his mom was and why she always had missions he was talking about Matsuri?"

"Yep."

"And here I thought he was just playing a game because he knows that he's adopted and doesn't have a mother."

"It's actually kind of funny."

"What is?"

"You adopt a child that looks like a perfect mix of you and Matsuri and the kid thinks of Matsuri as his mom. It's funny because she could have been his mom but you were too stupid to let that happen."

Gaara furrowed his nonexistent eyebrows. It was definitely no where near humorous. And the constant hammering of his heart was definitely not helping him think rationally about the whole thing. "Kankuro this is most definitely not funny."

Kankuro laughed harder. "Oh yeah it is. I told Temari about this several years ago and she agreed."

Gaara returned his gaze to the papers in front of him and tried to concentrate but he couldn't stop thinking about the way Matsuri and Shinki embraced and how happy they looked. Both were all smiles. He closed his eyes and could see perfectly him coming home from a really long day of working to Matsuri at the stove stirring a pot as Shinki happily set the table and chatted about his new techniques and missions. He could see Matsuri turning around and giving him a kiss on the cheek as Shinki attacked him with a hug. _I'm such an idiot._

"Hey man, are you okay?"

Gaara cracked open an eye and looked at Kankuro who had his hand on his shoulder. Gaara had apparently buried his head in his hands as he was thinking. "Yeah, I'm fine. Just thinking about what life could be like."

"You mean Matsuri and Shinki?"

Gaara nodded and Kanakuro sighed. "There's still time man. You're not dead yet. She's single, you're single, and people's opinion of you has calmed down a lot in the last ten years."

"You're not serious. She hates me."

Kankuro shook his head. "Would someone that hates you willingly help your child and love him like her own? She still cares deeply for you. Anyway, I gotta go. Since we're heading out early and I have to pick him up in the morning unless you want to?"

"Pick him up?"

"Yeah, he wanted to stay with Matsuri tonight before he left. He claims it calms him down when he's stressed."

"I see. I'll pick him up tomorrow."

"Okay, see you tomorrow!"

Gaara took a deep breath to calm down his nerves. He was finally going to see Matsuri in a domestic situation for the first time in a really long time. The two of them had been avoiding any sort of non-work interaction since he ripped them apart. But tomorrow he would see her as he picked up his son and the two of them would have to speak. He really could not blow this. There was too much riding on this encounter.

* * *

Matsuri smiled at Shinki lightly snoring. A few years ago she had actually upgraded to a larger apartment and had gotten a twin bed and a dresser for him. It seemed that Kankuro and Gaara were busy a lot but more often then not Shinki just wanted to stay with her. He claimed she calmed him down and that he slept so peacefully when she was around.

She had laughed at that and told him he was silly. But she let him stay nevertheless. He also still sometimes slipped up and called her mom. Matsuri would always smile at him while her heart shattered. She would have loved nothing more than to actually be his mother. Especially since Gaara was his father. But instead she'd gently remind Shinki that she was not his mother and he would look sheepish.

Today was the day he was heading off to the Chunnin exam in Konoha and he was extremely excited. Matsuri had gotten up and made breakfast for him. She made enough so that whoever picked him up could eat with them. It was nothing special but it was a breakfast that Shinki loved. Gently she shook his shoulder and cooed his name until he stirred.

"Wake up sleepyhead! Grab a quick shower, then we are going to have breakfast, and then you are on your way to becoming a chunnin!" Instantly Shinki shot up and raced into the bathroom. Matsuri laughed as she made her way to the kitchen to make some finishing touches on breakfast.

There was a knock on the door and she figured it was whoever was to retrieve Shinki so she wiped her hands on a dishtowel and made her way to the door. She opened it to reveal Gaara. He was wearing his normal clothing and was standing somewhat nervously as she looked him up and down. She was more than a little sad that as he grew up he decided that his normal spiked hairstyle wasn't suitable for a Kage and had decided to tame it down but he was still as handsome as always.

Matsuri saw a small smile on his face and looked down. She was ashamed that she had forgotten she was still in her pajamas. She had the day off and decided it wasn't important to get dressed yet. If she had known that Gaara was the one picking him up she would have put something else on.

At least her pajamas were cute so she was a little less embarrassed. "Good morning Lord Kazekage. I suppose you are here for Shinki?"

"Good morning Matsuri. I am indeed. Is he ready?"

"Oh, he will be in a few minutes. Why don't you join us for breakfast? I made plenty since I figured that whoever picked him up would be punctual."

"Are you sure I wouldn't be imposing or something?"

Matsuri laughed and grabbed his arm to pull him inside. "Imposing? Really? This is breakfast with your son and an old friend, right?"

He nodded and tried to focus on anything but her searing touch through his sleeve. She pulled him into the kitchen and pushed him to sit in a chair on one side. He complied and looked around at her neat living space. It was so very Matsuri. The normal living arrangements in Suna were all in shades of brown or green and very earthy. Matsuri's house was no different. Only, there were lots of bright colors in blues and purples spread throughout it. Honestly it was so comforting to be in there. No wonder his son liked staying here so much. Gaara felt like he never wanted leave.

"You have a very nice home."

"Thank you! I wanted something that had a little more umph in it ya know? I feel that sometimes because we live in the sand everyone feels like we should melt into it."

Gaara smiled. She was still the same she had always been and he couldn't help but think that she was still as wonderful as she had been when they were younger.

"I agree. That's probably why I always feel like I stick out like a sore thumb."

"Well you are like the only person in the village that always dresses in nothing but red. But I like it. It makes you different, but in a good way."

Matsuri smiled at him and realized she was flirting with the man that had stomped on her heart years ago but she couldn't be bothered to care since Gaara's own smirk grew into a smile.

"Well at least it's good this time."

"Mhm, so how is the country doing?"

"Suna is about the same only now we are in more peace than I think we've ever been in. It helps that all the countries are in relative peace and that we are in such good standing with Konoha."

"Speaking of how on good terms we are with Konoha, that doesn't have anything to do with the fact that Naruto is that Hokage and you love him does it?"

Gaara had taken a sip of the tea in front of him but started sputtering. Matsuri laughed loudly. "E-e-excuse me?"

"Oh come on! We all know how much you love and respect Naruto."

"He did save me from the darkness and for that I will be forever grateful."

"Well he is amazing. I used to have a crush on him you know."

Gaara spluttered again. "Do you have to say something every time I drink?"

Matsuri laughed. "No, that's just a happy accident." Her smile was mischievous. Gaara rolled his eyes but ended with a smile.

There was a moment of silence as they both locked gazes. It had been years since they could be this relaxed and comfortable in close proximity. Matsuri broke eye contact first and went to move food to the table from the counter.

"You really had a crush on Naruto?" Matsuri could hear the slight distaste in Gaara's voice and decided to push it a little.

"What? Jealous?"

Gaara turned to look at her with his eyes slightly widened. "I don't think so."

Matsuri laughed again. "I'm just teasing. But, yeah, during the fourth great shinobi war. Honestly, I think I started idolizing him because of the things you told me about him during training but then I saw him in action and he was so cool and hot all at the same time." A dreamy look crossed her face as she though back to seeing him fight.

"Spare me the rest of the details please." Gaara looked sick and Matsuri smiled at him.

"Hinata is a lucky girl but honestly for me there was only ever one man that could actually catch my attention."

Gaara's eyes flew from where they were staring at the mug in his hand to meet Matsuri's. She stared intently at him and he would have shivered at the intensity of her gaze if he didn't know the love she had behind it.

"Only one ever?"

"Yep. Crazy redhead stole my heart and no one ever really compared."

"Crazy redhead huh?" Matsuri nodded. "For me it was this sweet little brunette that could be feisty as anything."

Matsuri smiled as a pair of footsteps entered the kitchen and abruptly stopped. Matsuri turned to see Shinki standing in the doorway with wide eyes. He then slowly grinned from ear to ear and jumped once in excitement. "I'm not dreaming right? This is actually happening? The three of us are going to have breakfast together?!"

"Yep now get over here and eat. You need your strength for the journey." Matsuri smiled as Shinki heeded her words and made to sit in the last spot set at the table. They said their thanks and then dove in.

"I'm glad you're here dad. I really wanted to see you before I left."

"I'm actually going with you. Naruto is a good friend of mine." Matsuri snorted and Gaara turned to give her a playfully stern look. Shinki watched the exchange and smiled to himself. Watching his father and his self proclaimed mother flirt was like a dream come true.

"If you see Sakura and Hinata tell them hello for me. Especially Sakura. I feel so bad that she has to raise Sarada all by herself because Sasuke is gone all the time. On a side note I would like to punch him in the face."

Shinki snickered as Gaara reached forward and gently pried the butter knife out of Matsuri's hand that she had suddenly clenched tighter than necessary. "What has happened to my sweet little student that never hurt anyone unless it was necessary?"

"I'm still here but still it sucks that he's gone all the time. Oh, and Shinki give your aunt all my love." Matsuri smiled at him as he nodded.

"Of course! This is going to be so awesome! I slept so great last night and this is going to be my chance. I can feel it!"

"You'll do great." Gaara stated as he shoveled some food into his mouth. Matsuri smiled at the exchange. She always secretly loved the idea of Gaara being a father. She knew that somewhere he had a very loving side to him and she loved hearing Shinki talk about it.

"I agree. You've been working very hard and if you don't make chunnin you will definitely learn a lot for the next time."

"Did you make chunnin the first time you went?"

Shinki turned to look at Matsuri as she took a bite. "Uh, no. We didn't end up getting all the scrolls we needed because someone very dear to me was kidnapped and I felt it was my duty to try and help them."

Matsuri turned a sly look to Gaara who looked like he was caught stealing the last cookie. "My apologies for being so desirable."

"Whoa, you were kidnapped?"

"Multiple times actually."

"And you tried to save him?"

"Yep! I tried to help and then went and found help."

"Why? I mean you were in the middle of an exam how did you even know?"

"There was a sandstorm in the desert and Gaara saved me. It was right after that that he was taken."

Gaara watched her with rapt attention as she told her story. For some reason his heart rate sped up thinking about that day. He was so nervous about losing her in that storm that he did everything he could to save her and her team. And then she returned the favor almost immediately. He should have realized then that his feelings were already starting to grow deeper. Matsuri smiled at him and then at Shinki.

"And to answer your first question. I tried to save him because I care about him very much." Gaara dropped his fork. It hit the table and proceeded to land on the floor. Matsuri immediately snapped to look at him. He blushed slightly and leaned over to pick up his fork.

Shinki giggled hysterically and soon it was full blown laughter. Matsuri started chuckling with him and Gaara kept blushing as he looked down at the fork on the table. How dare it betray him like that.

"Dad, you're acting like an academy girl with a crush!"

Matsuri stifled her giggles as she got up and proceeded to grab Gaara another fork. "Shinki, stop it. Your father is not acting like a little girl."

"Oh yeah? How do they act?"

"Well they. . . uh. . ."

"Oh yes Matsuri, why don't you enlighten us?" Now there was a blush on Matsuri's face and Gaara smiled evilly.

"I don't get it." Shinki looked confusingly between his father and Matsuri.

"Matsuri used to be a fan girl if I remember correctly. The only difference was that she generally tried to hide it when I was around but I think being a fangirl constitutes talking about him like he is a god placed on earth, giggling, screaming, imagining everything that the two of you will do when you get married, and trying to catch his attention by-" Matsuri set down Gaara's new utensil and slapped her hand over his mouth. She was now standing only a few inches from him with her eyes boring into his.

"I think that's enough. I would love for Shinki to still have a good impression of me." Gaara smirked and Matsuri could feel it through her hand. In a swift moment he pulled her into his lap and trapped her arms to her sides. He leaned over her shoulder to look at Shinki. Gaara smiled and Matsuri looked miffed.

"As I was saying trying to catch his attention by using lots of physical contact." Gaara smirked as a mad blush overtook Matsuri's face.

"I never did that."

"I remember there were hugs sometimes that came out of the blue and were very long." Gaara looked at her and she turned her head to do the same. They were so close that their noses were almost touching. Gaara's hold on her arms loosened but she didn't move to get off of his lap.

"So who were you a fangirl of when you were younger?" Shinki sat forward and leaned on his hands excitedly like he was about to learn a new jutsu.

Both Gaara and Matsuri snapped their heads to look at him. If at all possible her blush got even darker. Gaara re-grasped her arms so she couldn't run away from him. He smirked at his son.

"Isn't it obvious Shinki? Me, her illustrious teacher."

Shinki's mouth dropped and he blinked a few times. "You're telling me that my mom used to be in love with my dad? How perfect is this?!" He stood up and started dancing around.

Gaara and Matsuri shared a look. "Uh, why is this perfect?"

"Because that means that one of you is already halfway there?"

"Halfway there?" Gaara was increasingly getting more and more confused. Masturi seemed to be about the same.

"Yeah, to actually for real being my mom and dad and us being a family." Shinki smiled and Gaara and Matsuri froze. Slowly she turned her head to look at Gaara. He was already looking at her. His expression softened as he looked at her. Shinki was still dancing around like and idiot in the background.

"That's an interesting idea."

Matsuri carefully studied Gaara's face before answering. "Yeah, how about that. Your son ships us."

Gaara laughed and Matsuri closed her eyes. It rarely happened that Gaara laughed. It was more like a low chuckle but she had missed the sound. It was like music to her ears.

"Matsuri?" She opened her eyes. If possible Gaara had moved a little closer to her. "Would you go to dinner with me after the chunnin exams are over?"

Matsuri's eyes widened ever so slightly and before she could think about it she had already replied with a yes. Gaara's face split into a grin and she mirrored him.

"Perfect. I'll let you know when we should be heading home and when I'll be free. Does that work for you?"

"Of course. You're the one that controls my schedule for the most part so I should be pretty flexible."

He laughed a little at her but was pulled out of his thoughts by Shinki pulling on his shoulder. "Dad! We gotta go! It's time to meet with everyone to head out to Konoha! We're gonna be late." Shinki ran around frantically making sure that he had all of his stuff packed.

"Don't worry we'll use my sand to get there faster. And they won't leave without me. I'm the Kazekage after all."

Shinki calmed down at that statement and started putting on his backpack. Gaara turned to look at Matsuri. She now leaned comfortably against him. While he had been asking her out he had released her wrists and had placed his hands gently around her waist. It was now like he was holding her just to hold her. She felt so light on his lap and he couldn't help but love it. Hopefully they would get more opportunities for him to hold her in the future.

"It appears that I need to leave. Thank you for breakfast."

"Thanks for staying."

Matsuri smiled at him and he squeezed around her middle lightly before releasing her and she stood up. Instead of being awkward about just sitting on Gaara's lap and loving it, Matsuri made her way to Shinki. She wrapped him in her arms and squeezed him. He squeezed back and then pulled away. She placed a kiss on his cheek.

"Good luck. Travel safe you two and don't get into too much trouble."

"Oh we will!" Shinki winked and the two of them headed out on their way to Konoha.

* * *

**A/N: **_It's been a while! I had this chapter already written so I decided to post it here. I realize it leaves the last chapter with a cliff hanger but that's okay. Enjoy!_


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